Where I Stood
by Peyt4Luke4eva
Summary: The endless hours slowly blended together into a string of endless days. She knew time would heal her broken heart as it always did. Just not in the way she knew he could. LP.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note – Hey guys. So I've been going through a bit of a bad patch and have been suffering from writer's block hence why I haven't updated my other stories in a while. That being said this little two/three part story was what has helped me out of it. It came into my head and I just had to write it. I tend to write totally AU fics so to write something that follows the show a little more (though I have put twists in!) is new to me. It starts after the infamous proposal in LA in 5.05 and spans on from there. I hope you like it.

**Where I Stood**

Letting go. Letting go of someone you hold to so closely and dearly can be the hardest part of all. Moving on can seem so completely impossible. Even though logic and reason and everything you know dictates that you have to; the love remains fiercely in your heart and passion courses its way through your veins and tells you and screams at you to stay and fight. That no matter what the odds may be, the love you feel and know to be true is worth the sacrifice and the pain no matter what the cost.

Lucas Scott lay on the bed in the hotel room with a dull ache in his heart as he continued to watch her sleep. He hadn't been able to shut his busy mind off from the decisions he knew now had to be made. He had memorised her every line and every curve so very long ago, he knew every inch of her and yet right now as he stared at her sleeping form he feared that this was all about to end. That he would never see her again. That the memory of her perfect face would fade and finally erase itself from his conscious leaving him without even a notion of her and of what they had once been to one another. That thought terrified him more than anything. Even more than what he knew he was about to do.

Lucas pulled his weary body up from the mattress and crossed over to the French windows. With a tug he pulled them aside and stepped out into the day. He stared out at the early morning's sky, at the bold pink and orange shades that burst through the once blank canvass of white clouds.

The young man let a knowing smile of regret and sorrow pass across his lips. His hands gripped the cool metal railing of the balcony, bracing himself upright. Unsure that under the weight of his decisions his legs would hold him. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in his mind that he loved this girl. He loved Peyton. He would always love Peyton. They had been through so much to be together. They had gone through so much in their relationship. Never in his most vivid nightmares did he imagine that this would be their end. They were meant to be forever. A timeless and unbreakable love story.

They wanted different things, at least for now. Lucas knew that. They were both still barely out of High School and were only just beginning to forge their way through life. He thought now as he gathered up his possessions and tossed them carelessly into his overnight bag that coming to LA and surprising her was maybe too much too soon as he replayed the scene from the night before over once again in his head. She hadn't said "no" to his proposal but she hadn't said "yes" either. Now with the words said they couldn't take it back no matter how much they both may have wanted to. They had crossed the line as they continued to chase different dreams that for now at least didn't seem to be able to coexist. All they could do now was hope to move on.

Peyton remained curled up tightly amongst the pillows almost as if even though lost to sleep she was still clinging on to the shards of a life and a love that she didn't want to lose. That she couldn't be without. She lay on her front, her tousled hair spilling in careless locks behind her as she continued to sleep. Her gentle breaths tickled at the tip of his nose as he kissed her goodbye.

With one final look at the life that he was about to leave behind Lucas felt a sharp stab of regret before he pushed himself out of the door. He told himself that for right now this was the best thing for both of them. That maybe if their love was strong enough then they would one day find their ways back to one another with dreams fulfilled and hearts reunited and settled on only one goal. He let his hand graze the ring box in his pocket and blinked back the tears.

The click of the door closing jerked Peyton awake. Her eyes snapped open and she took in the barrenness of the room. She knew even before she saw the "mix" lying beside her that he was gone. An agonising emptiness took her over like a tumbling wave as she lay back down and buried her face into his pillow to muffle her heart wrenching sobs.

He'd left her.

It was too painful. Last night she had begged him to see that she wanted him, that she believed in him and in them. That she was sure that their love could survive another year of being miles apart because he would always be held so close in her heart.

She remembered Lucas's beautiful chiselled face with only hurt and rejection reflecting back at her as she fumbled on with her explanation of her answer to his proposal. The echoes of their exchange of words passed through her mind and ignited her fears.

Peyton lay so very still for hours unable to move and exhausted from fitful intermittent bursts of crying. Her mind tried idly to process what had happened to bring them to this point. Not even twenty four hours before she had been a girl with dreams and a bright future. She had been a girl who was completely and hopelessly in love with the boy that she had wished forever with.

Now she lay broken. She didn't know what to do. She guessed she should try to pick herself up and carry on with her life in LA. But right now she couldn't bring herself to leave the hotel room. To leave the one last piece of their lives together and the place where dreams and forever had been so carelessly and so unconsciously shattered.

--x--x--x--

Time. Time flickers past our very eyes fuelled by the burning flames of eternity. Time is the one true constant in our lives. Time alters us. Time heals us.

_She is back in the hotel room. Sitting on the chair as her fingers idly brush over the smoothness of the precious little black box and she watches her beautiful boy sleep soundly across the room from her. She contemplates their lives together; there is no doubt in her mind that she wants to be with him. She loves him so much that it hurts sometimes. She sometimes doesn't even know who she is without him._

_He soon wakes; a little smile of uncertainty passes his lips as he makes his way slowly over to her. He gets down on bended knee as their hands meet and their eyes interlock. He speaks softly sensing she is maybe a little hesitant. He is the one constant in a sea of adolescent confusions and her own long imprinted fears of loss and abandonment. _

_As he opens the box and speaks the question that has been burning on his lips she only sees forever shining in the eyes of the boy she has loved since she was sixteen. _

_She has never been surer of anything in her life as she tells him her answer. Her eyes sparkle with tears, they match his own. He slips the ring onto her finger before gathering her up into his arms. She lets her lips touch his, kissing fervently._

"_I love you Lucas Scott."_

Peyton's eyes fluttered open slowly as she stared up at the ceiling in the darkened room. Tears stung her tired orbs and threatened to fall onto her already tear stained face. She'd dreamt once again of correcting her ill fated mistake back in the hotel room. She had dreamt the very same dream every night for the past week.

It was now almost six weeks since Lucas's visit to LA and their breakup. She had tried to fill the void with work, sleep and friends. She had gone straight back to work after leaving the hotel room in an effort to distract her from the pain and the numbness in her heart. The endless hours slowly blended together into a string of endless days. She knew time would heal her broken heart as it always did. Just not in the way she knew he could.

She rolled over onto her side hugging a pale blue sweater of his that he'd left behind. Well that she "stole" on his last visit to her apartment three months before. She smiled sadly as she remembered how they'd remained locked away in her small living space. She had relished every single moment of the time alone with him.

There were moments when living without Lucas didn't seem so impossible and unbearable. There were moments when she would get so caught up in her hectic routine and she'd sometimes find herself believing things might one day be ok again. But she also found that the tiniest and simplest of things would trigger the memory of his face or moments they'd shared together and she would find herself crying. She would sink back into a darkened place of depression that she so desperately wanted to escape from.

She wanted to just be mad at him. Sometimes she was just mad at him. She couldn't fathom why he had seemingly given up on them so easily, why he hadn't fought harder for the love he had wanted to celebrate with marriage and the promise of a lifetime together.

Peyton wiped back the tears and sat up in the bed. The reality that she had never felt so afraid and alone hit her full force. She needed to talk to someone. Without another moment's hesitation Peyton dialled Brooke's number. She cradled the phone to her ear listening to the ringing before Brooke picked up.

"Hello?" Brooke's sleepy and familiar voice rasped from the other end of the line.

"Brooke, it's me," she uttered quietly.

"Peyton?" the concern in her best friend's voice was obvious. "Honey, is everything ok? Are you alright?"

"No. Not really. I'm sorry to call. I know it's early there. And I know we haven't talked in a while. That we've both been really busy..." her voice trailed off as she felt guilty for having lost contact with Brooke after High School. "I just.... I really needed to talk to you."

"P Sawyer," the brunette said gently. "You are my best friend and you always will be. I know it's been a while but the phone works both ways. I've been pretty busy too. I'm here for you."

Peyton closed her eyes tightly shut and bit back the sob at her friend's kind words of reassurance.

"I know about you and Lucas," Brooke then went on to state cautiously. "That you broke up."

"Oh," Peyton's brow furrowed in mild surprise that Lucas had told Brooke. Peyton hadn't been able to tell any of her friends from Tree Hill. It was as if uttering those words would make it even more real and painful than it already was. But then she reasoned that Brooke and Lucas had always been so close.

"He was in New York," Brooke explained sensing the girl's apprehensive silence. "He came to New York for the book and we met up. He told me you guys had broken up."

"He's getting published?" Peyton asked with a smile and felt a sudden sensation of pride rush through her. He was finally able to live his dream and she was happy for him. She had always known he would be a success. The sudden surge of being proud of him was soon replaced by the sour notion that he hadn't shared the news with her. She was supposed to be at his side when he achieved that goal.

"Yeah he is," Brooke replied.

"Did he tell you why we broke up?" Peyton asked sadly.

"Yes he did honey," Brooke remembered the hurt and confusion that Lucas was clearly feeling that night he'd met her in New York and how it was now mirrored in her friend's distant voice. "He loves you. I know he does. And I know this all seems really hard and really confusing right now. But Luke is going to work really hard to be the best writer and the best man he can be for you. He will come back to you....."

"I'm pregnant Brooke," Peyton blurted out as she couldn't take any more of her friend's assurances even though there was no doubt in her mind that they came from Brooke's heart of gold.

With the words finally spoken Peyton closed her eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. She'd pushed herself too hard and hadn't noticed her body trying to tell her something was different. She had put the sudden onset of sickness upon smelling coffee on the endless latte runs down to tiredness and heartache. She had brushed off the spells of dizziness as a product of her rushing around the city on errands. It wasn't until she collapsed in the copy room and a colleague took her to the ER that she had discovered she was pregnant.

As soon as Peyton had been discharged from the hospital she'd taken out her cell phone and dialled Lucas's number unconsciously. She was just so used to him being the one person who was a constant in her life; the one person she could always turn to and trust. Not to mention that he was the father of her child. A stab of conflicted confusion had stopped her from trying to contact him and she'd hung up before the first ring.

He was the one person she would always run to; but now he was also the one person she had truly counted on and who had abandoned her.

"Peyton, you're pregnant?" Brooke spoke quietly to clarify the startling revelation.

"I only just found out last week and I don't know what to do. I'm just so lost without him....."

"Ok," Brooke's mind whirled into action. She spoke with an abrupt decisiveness. "I'm coming out to LA. I have a couple of things to take care of but then I'll be on the next plane out. You're not alone Peyton," she added before she hung up.

--x--x--x--

The following day Peyton met Brooke at the airport. The brunette sashayed her way confidently through the crowds with the clack of her stylish heels and an air of self importance. For such a young age she was already making a name for herself in the fashion world. Her pretty face broke into a warm smile as she found Peyton in the sea of people.

"It's good to see you B Davis," Peyton said pulling the fashionably dressed brunette in for a hug.

"You too P Sawyer," Brooke answered with a squeeze her friend's shoulder. "It's all going to be ok. Let's get you home."

Peyton lay on the couch in her apartment an hour later with her hand resting lightly on her stomach. The news of her condition had begun to sink in properly now with the arrival and support of Brooke. She stroked the taut warm skin of her belly; her once flat stomach now had a slight but noticeable bump. What with working long hours to replace the dull aching loss that Lucas had left she hadn't realised her body had been slowly changing.

She was pregnant. She was pregnant with baby of her first and only love. Tears stung at her eyes. The fleeting joy she felt in the knowledge she was carrying this new and cherished life was replaced by the harsh stinging reality that the man who had fathered her child and had wanted to marry her just weeks before was now back on the other side of the country. They hadn't spoken once since that ill fated night and she had no idea what he would be thinking and feeling now. And she had no idea how she felt now about him either. She knew she still loved him but she'd spent the past few weeks drowning in a sea of anguished betrayal, confusion and abandonment.

The tears fell as her mind swelled up with unanswered questions and the fearful pangs of responsibility of being a single mother.

"Peyton?" Brooke had entered back into the lounge without her even realising. Brooke set the glass of water down on the coffee table before sinking back onto the couch and took her friend tenderly into her arms. The blonde rested her head on Brooke's shoulder as her emotions overtook her. "Oh honey, it's ok."

"What am I going to do Brooke?" Peyton said with a sniff as they broke apart.

"Do you want the baby?" the brunette asked gently.

Peyton stroked her stomach again as her weeping subsided and offered a weak smile. She nodded her head; there had never been any doubt in her mind that she wanted this baby. "It's the only part I have left of him. Of us."

"Ok," Brooke's dark brown eyes met with Peyton's green ones. She uttered the next statement carefully. "Then you need to go see him. You need to talk to him." Both girls knew Lucas well enough to know that he would want to be a part of his child's life having been abandoned by his own father.

"I know." Peyton knew Lucas had a right to know though the task filled her with a panicked uncertainty.

"Do you want him back?"

"I...." Peyton felt a lump form in her throat as she let go of her pride and allowed herself to be truly honest as to her feelings. "Of course I do. I want him back more than anything. I want us back." In spite of the hurt Lucas had caused there was still no doubt in her head or her heart that she wanted him back. She didn't believe she would ever stop wanting to be with him. "But what if he doesn't want me?" Peyton allowed her fears to filter out into the room. She wanted him back more than anything in the world. "What if he only wants to be there for the baby?"

"Honey," Brooke smiled placing her hand lightly onto her friend's. She cast her mind back to when Lucas had visited her in New York and she had first learnt of her best friend's breakup. Lucas was so broken, so torn by hurt and a wounded ego but his actions however impulsive and misjudged still reflected a yearning want for the girl he still undoubtedly wanted. "Lucas is hurting. You both are. But he loves you. I know you two will work it out. You just need to go see him."

"Yeah," Peyton uttered in agreement.

--x--x--x--

Lucas walked barefoot on the wet sand at the water's edge. As the tides churned he squinted at the early morning sun. He then closed his eyes and allowed his breathes to regulate with gentle sighs of the waves. The beach was quiet at this time of day and he liked it that way. The horizon was strikingly beautiful, untouched and perfect. He felt calmness flow through him and he had time to reflect on his life that had quickly become so hectic.

Since leaving LA and securing his publishing deal Lucas had spent time flittering between college and New York. He focused on getting his book published, his school work and coaching the college basketball team. He did everything he could to continue to be the person he had always been in an attempt to rebuild his life without Peyton.

Some days were harder than others. He had Nathan, Haley and Jamie. The bustling family home was sometimes a great comfort and sometimes served as a reminder of what he had lost. He would see how happy they were and he knew that was what he still wanted.

Lucas told himself that Peyton was just another girl, that in time he could move past her. That the pain he felt so deep in his core would lessen and he would wake up one day to find it gone. In his heart though he didn't really believe that. Peyton was his soul mate. He'd loved her for as long as he could remember. She was an vital part of him. And now he was beginning to feel that he may have made a terrible mistake. He worried about her. He wanted to call her. He'd go home after a day at college or after a meeting with his editors having had the best day. Then behind closed doors reality and loneliness would hit and he would just want to hear her voice.

"Luke?" she called tentatively as she approached him.

Lucas turned at the sound of the all too familiar twang of her voice. He thought he must be imaging it until their eyes interlocked. His heart caught painfully in his chest. He was utterly speechless as he took in her pretty face, a face he had honestly believed he may never see again. He didn't really know what to say to her and that saddened him greatly. He'd imagined that seeing her again would make him feel a surge of either anger or resentment or maybe even guilt. Instead he felt an overwhelming sense of loss.

Peyton wrapped her arms around her body pulling her jacket tightly around herself as she shivered against the ocean's breeze and his impenetrable stare. "Hi, Nathan told me I'd find you here," she said by way of explanation. She braced herself for his reaction upon seeing her again. "I would have called but...I didn't know if you'd talk to me."

"What are you doing here Peyt?" His words came out a little more harshly than he would have liked. In his head he'd played so many scenarios of their reunion. He'd begun to realise that all the miles between them wouldn't ever truly mean that he was ready to let her go.

"I..." she stammered suddenly more afraid than she ever thought she would be. "I needed to see you."

"Why?" he uttered with recrimination. He missed her. He admitted that to himself finally as he felt the pain lessen in his heart as he watched her.

"I'm pregnant Luke," Peyton's voice was barely a whisper as she regarded him uncertainly.

Lucas's mouth dropped open as he really looked at her. He noticed her hand was lying protectively across her stomach. He swallowed hard as he absorbed what she was telling him. He was speechless and stood routed to his spot in the pale gold sands. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he felt. He had wanted to just be mad at her. Now as he looked into her wide innocent eyes all he wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

"I want you," she sobbed as all the careful planning of what she was going to say to him evaporated into the raw hurt she'd been carrying around since he'd left. "I want you and I want the baby. I made a mistake, I know that now."

Her tears fell heavily after the statement had passed her lips and it was all Lucas could do but move forward and pull her into his arms. He'd seen Peyton cry before, she'd allowed herself to be more open with him than most people in her life but seeing her this way almost broke him. She was overwhelmingly and emotionally shattered and he knew he was the one who had caused it. "Ssh, it's ok," he murmured as he cradled her protectively close to his chest. He ran his hand up and down her back as he tried to soothe her. Her getting so upset like this couldn't be good for her or the baby.

Peyton slowly felt that familiar sense of comfort he always gave her return and seep its way through all the hurt and the pain. She buried her face in his shirt. Her body stopped trembling as she felt the resonance of safety and wholeness. "I miss you," she sniffed breaking slightly from the embrace so she could look up at him. She was too tired and scared to be anything other than truly honest with herself and with him.

"Come sit down with me," he uttered gently taking her hand into his and leading her off the beach to a nearby bench. His eyes travelled down to the slightly visible curve of her stomach beneath the thin fabric of loosely fitted cotton shirt. He felt a smile twitch at his lips at the precious miracle of life their love had created.

To be continued.....


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note – Hey there guys. Thank you so much for all your wonderful feedback, PMs and story alerts. You all make me smile. As I got to the second half of this I realised I'm not done with this story so there is definitely a part 3. I know I'm not always quick updater, in fact judging by the recent weeks I'm a very slow updater but my words and ideas are flowing much easier now so hopefully my muse is back on track.

Enjoy!

Where I Stood

Chapter 2 – Forgive Me

There are moments in our lives when we are truly tested. Sometimes they are big, earth shattering moments where we are forced to question and evaluate who we are and what has got us to that point. Sometimes they are more subtle but no less pivotal or influential. And it is in these moments where we truly learn who we are and who we want so desperately to be.

"I'm pregnant Luke," her voice was barely audible over the crashing waves of the ocean as she uttered the life altering statement. He stared at the girl he unquestionably knew was the love of his life and he honestly couldn't think of the right words to say. For a man whose craft was the written word he'd have thought he would instantly have the answers. However his mind was completely blank as to what might eradicate his shortcomings and simply make everything alright again.

As he had stood speechless all the resolve that she'd held broke as she lowered her defences and uttered her plea for forgiveness. "I made a mistake, I know that now." Lucas moved slowly towards her and pulled her into his tight embrace in an attempt to shield her from the world. Protecting Peyton Sawyer and healing her pain was just what he did. He didn't truly believe he'd ever be done saving her. He didn't believe he'd ever be done wanting to save her.

"Come sit down with me" he requested and gently took her hand into his. Her hand fitted perfectly into his own and that fact wasn't lost on him. They'd always fitted so perfectly and so seamlessly together. Haley often described them as twins or two peas in a pod. They were two people who were simply destined to be together. It was as though even as they made mistakes and misjudgements in their lives that meant they were apart; life itself intervened and threw them back together.

Lucas's eyes travelled over her delicate curve of her stomach and he felt a smile playing at his lips. Peyton was carrying his child. In that moment he allowed himself to imagine a perfect beautiful little girl with blonde ringlets, a little button nose and sparkling green eyes. He allowed himself to imagine once again everything he had ever wanted and ever needed being right there before his very eyes.

Him and her.

And now their unborn child.

It should have been that simple. And yet a heavy and awkward silence hung between them. Lucas's mind soon swam with so many conflicting emotions, unanswered questions and a wounded male pride. What seemed so right was clouded by their actions and mistakes.

She wanted the baby.

What should have been the realisation of a dream come true was tainted by a hurt he'd carried around with him for the past six weeks.

Peyton stared down at her lap as she idly fidgeted with her hands. The quiet uneasiness between them was far worse than him raising his voice at her. The last time he hadn't truly been able to convey his feelings to her had resulted in her waking the next morning alone in a hotel room. She didn't want that to happen again.

"Luke," she began in a stammering voice. "Please talk to me."

"Is the baby....Is it mine?" Lucas's voice immediately hit a stop. He hated himself all over again in those few misjudged seconds. Of every possible way he could have started their conversation this was the worst. He knew in his heart the baby was his. He watched as her eyes locked with his own and they burned with a fresh hurt that once again he'd subjected her too.

"I can't believe you'd even....," her voice was shrill and she let the words pass her lips bitterly. "Yes Lucas. Yes the baby's yours." She guessed she didn't really blame him for asking the question. He had a right to know; though the way she felt in her heart and the love she still carried for him made her wonder how he could ever doubt for a second that she could do that to him. Or to them.

"I'm sorry," he murmured in shame.

She let out a deep shaking breath determined to bring his buried feelings to the surface. "I'm twelve weeks along," she informed him. "I guess when you came to LA the time before we broke up," her words stuck in her throat and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes again.

"How long have you known?" he asked feebly.

"A few days...."

"How have you been feeling? I mean with the morning sickness and all?"

"I'm ok. I've had some sickness." She sighed heavily. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. She had hoped that the baby would instantly reconnect them and erase all their errors and confusion. Though she knew it wouldn't truthfully be that simple and the news instead left them stumbling uneasily around so many unresolved issues.

"But you and the baby?" his beautiful soulful eyes shone with a look that was both boy friendly and showed fatherly concern. "You're both ok?"

"Yeah we're ok," Peyton said feeling the sparks of hope ignite once again in her soul. He was still her Lucas despite the fact that they had hurt one another. He was still the sweet boy who'd protected her unconditionally; who would always be there for her. "The doctor says we're both doing fine. The baby's healthy. I have to go for a check up in a couple of weeks if you want to come?"

"Sure. I'd like that." He threw her a sideways glance and watched as she shivered a little against the cool air. "Look why don't we go back to the house."

"Well I'm staying at a motel," Peyton replied.

"Don't be silly," Lucas told her. "I'm not going to let you stay in a motel. Come on."

Lucas stood first and reached out his hand for her and Peyton took it gratefully. These were the first shaking and tentative steps towards reconnection. She fell into step beside him as they walked the familiar streets. They talked about Lucas' publishing deal and the up and coming book tours, about Nathan and Haley and all she had missed. Despite the fact that Peyton had gone to LA to escape so many painful memories, as she walked hand in hand with the man she loved she felt oddly sentimental. The landmarks of their home town spread a long forgotten calm within her.

As they entered the house and stepped into the hallway Peyton was greeted by a harassed looking Haley as she held and tried to console a screaming Jamie.

"Peyton?" Haley exclaimed with both question and surprise. She continued to jiggle her baby boy against her chest. "Hi."

"Hey," Peyton uttered with a small waving gesture of her hand before Lucas scooped Jamie from the young mother's arms so the two girls could embrace.

"Peyton's going to be staying with us for a few days," Lucas explained to the perplexed look Haley gave him from over Peyton's shoulder before the girls then broke apart.

Peyton's gaze soon landed back onto Lucas and Jamie and felt her heart skip a beat as she watched the flushed red face of the toddler. They'd all joked the Jamie closely resembled Lucas and that fact wasn't lost on Peyton.

"I'm sorry," the brunette said as she took Jamie back. "He's been like this all morning. He won't stop crying no matter what I do."

"Do you want me to try," Lucas asked automatically. He had promised to always be the dutiful uncle just like Keith had been to him.

"No, no," Haley waved him off. "It's fine. You two should talk. I'm going to take Jamie upstairs and try to get him off to sleep."

With Haley gone and Jamie's distraught wails becoming more distant from down the corridor the awkwardness set in once again between Lucas and Peyton. With all the obvious and comfortable subjects covered Lucas murmured something about showing her to her room so she could get settled and she followed him upstairs.

"You can take the guest room," Lucas said. "My room's just down the hall."

"The guest room?" Peyton repeated sadly. She felt her guard lower and her irritation rise as he offered her the guest room. She knew really she should have expected it. They were in uncharted waters as they struggled to deal with their shortcomings and the knowledge that everything was about to change because of the baby. It was perhaps unrealistic for her to think that everything would simply fall back into place.

"It's going to take some time Peyt," Lucas tried to rationalise as he saw her face contort with an expression of sorrow.

"Yeah? Well I'm sorry but I'm pregnant," she scoffed as her hormones and the situation got the better of her. "So you don't have _that_ much time."

"Ok. You know what Peyton," Lucas retaliated. "You can't come here and just expect everything to be the same."

"You're right," she uttered bitterly; trying to battle with the fact that she now felt both foolish and rejected. "You left me. I was silly to think things would be that simple."

"Don't," he warned.

"Don't what?" she said harshly.

"Just don't," he replied and he moved towards the door.

"Ok you know what? You hurt me Lucas." Her voice rang high pitched in her own ears as she struggled to maintain some semblance of composure. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. "How could you just leave me like that? Leave me to wake up and find you gone? Leave me without even trying to listen to the reasons why I wasn't ready to get married?"

"_I did listen_," his voice rose to match the anguished tones of her own. "I listened to you as you came up with excuses to push me away. I listened. I asked you to marry me and you said no. You said no Peyt."

"I didn't say no," her tone was laced with wounded frustration. She struggled to remain hopeful that their love was still salvageable as they danced the same steps of the fateful night she so desperately wished she could forget. "I said that I loved you. That I did want to marry you someday. I said _someday_ Lucas. And you know that's the truth."

Lucas pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation as he was forced once again to relive those moments. "I can't do this," he murmured hopelessly.

"I just wanted you to wait for me. I gave you my heart. I wanted everything with you. And I still do. I was just scared and confused. You came to LA and it was just so sudden. It seemed so out of the blue."

Lucas shook his head. It wasn't sudden for him. He'd dreamed of marrying Peyton since the first instant that he'd seen her all those years ago when she didn't know he'd even existed.

"For me it wasn't sudden Peyt," he tried to remain calm but his disappointment was rising within him. "I missed you every single day. I'd watch Nathan with Haley and Jamie. All I could ever think about was that was what I wanted for us. I wanted it more than getting my novel published. Far more than anything I'd ever wished for in my entire life."

"I never thought you could do that to me Lucas. I thought you were the one person who would never leave me." She brought her hands to her face before she broke down crying harsh bitter tears.

Lucas stopped himself when he saw how hard she was trembling. The modest ounce of strength that had been holding her together since she'd arrived now disintegrated before his eyes. He knew once again he had weakened her. And he felt more shame than he could bear.

"Peyt," he uttered as he reached forward but she shrugged him away.

She was stubborn and he loved and hated that about her in that heated moment. With his shoulders hunched and admitting defeat; Lucas exited the room leaving Peyton in a fit of sobs.

"You know what Luke," Peyton called out wounded from behind him. "Leave, it's what you're good at." She crumbled into a heap on the mattress wondering if she had lost the love of her life forever.

--x--x--x--

Several hours after their argument Peyton laid the sleeping Jamie carefully and gently into the crib and covered his tiny body with the woollen blankets. She stroked her fingers over the incredible softness of the little boy's cheek and couldn't help but smile. Jamie's eyelids were so delicate as they lightly rested shut together. She was mesmerised by the innocence and beauty of the child. Someday, someday very soon, she was going to be a mother herself. That thought both thrilled and terrified her.

"Hey," Nathan whispered as he crept into the nursery.

"Hey," Peyton said matching his hushed tone and pressing a finger to her lips. "He finally fell off to sleep."

"Thank you. Though you didn't have to...." Nathan told her gently. He'd felt bad as Jamie had continued to cry and scream freely despite all Nathan and Haley's efforts to calm him. Peyton had volunteered to step in and after what seemed like an entire day Jamie's wails had been hushed into sweet soft breaths. He knew she would want to though. He remembered back to the days when he and his wife had been expecting Jamie and Haley had agreed to babysit in order to prepare for being a mother.

"No. Its fine, I wanted to." Peyton continued to stare down at the miniature person lying peacefully in the crib. "He's really beautiful Nate."

Nathan's face shone with the unconditional love and pride of a father completely besotted with his child. "Yeah he's amazing."

"I'm sorry," she offered then. "About me and Lucas fighting earlier."

"You don't need to apologise. Congratulations by the way about the baby." Nathan laid a supportive hand on her shoulder and gave her a kind smile. The younger Scott brother took a moment to really look at her. She was still the same tall slender girl she had always been with her hair still a mass of untamed tousled blonde locks and deep green eyes. But she was different. Her eyes shone with a hurt that she desperately tried to mask. Her heart was torn and she seemed so broken.

"I didn't plan on you guys finding out like that." She had hoped that she and Lucas would tell their friends and family about the baby together.

"So is Lucas back?" Peyton asked hopefully.

"No, not yet," Nathan told her regretfully as he watched the shadows of disappointment etch across her features. He understood his elder brother harboured pain and anger towards Peyton and Nathan could understand why. He knew all too well what with past experiences with Haley what it felt like to be left behind as Haley pursued her dreams and desire to be a singer. He empathised with Lucas but he also now had the benefit of knowing that plunging in darkened bitterness only made himself and all those around him miserable.

"He'll come around Sawyer," Nathan uttered reassuringly. He couldn't help but feel protective over Peyton. She was his best friend. They'd been close in a whole other life time. She'd stuck by his side as his girlfriend as he'd mistreated her because she'd cared too much to walk away even though she should have. She'd helped him through the days when he and his own wife had been separated and had given him the hope that someday Haley would come back. She'd been the one to warn him that sometimes he needed to be selfish and follow his dreams so he didn't become embittered like his father. Peyton Sawyer had a heart of gold.

"I hope so." He watched as her arms wrapped around her frame and she tried in vain not to cry. "I just need him to talk to me. Or yell at me some more. Just anything but the silence."

Nathan pulled Peyton into his arms feeling a sudden surge of resentment towards his brother. Lucas should be the one here comforting his now pregnant girlfriend and not putting her through more anguish.

"It's going to be ok," he whispered into her curls.

"Yeah," her hand grazed the little pouch of her stomach. "I just wish....." the words caught painfully in her throat as she uttered the undertones of her own regret. "I just wish I'd said yes. If I could go back and do it over I'd say yes."

"Why didn't you?" Nathan asked gently. He thought he already knew the answer, or at least partially, having made mistakes along the way with Haley as both of them tried to adjust to life as a married couple in High School and become the people they'd grown up wanting to be.

Peyton bit her lip as she tried to process her thoughts. "I guess I got scared. I didn't really think we were ready. I mean Lucas has his book and college and I was still in LA. We're still trying to chase our dreams. It just all seemed so sudden and.....But then I guess I can't really blame Luke right?" Her tone betrayed the cynical undertones of her thoughts as she replayed each and every time Lucas had wanted to take their relationship to the next level and her fear of being abandoned meant she'd run from him. "I mean every time he reaches out to me I pull away."

"Hey," Nathan said. "Don't be so hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting something for yourself Peyton. You told me that remember? Back on that class assignment in Senior Year? You told me that sometimes I needed to put myself and my dreams first. And you were right. I want what is best for Haley and for Jamie and I always will. But I also know sometimes there's nothing wrong with wanting something for me too."

"Yeah I remember. I'm just really scared that we can't make it past this."

"It is going to be ok Peyton. Lucas is stubborn. But once he's done nursing his pride he'll come around. I know he will. He wants you. And the little you," he indicated affectionately to her small bump.

"You think so?" she uttered needing reassurance from the Scott brother even if Nathan wasn't necessarily the Scott brother she wanted to hear the words from.

"I know so," Nathan stated matter of factly as he pulled Peyton back in for a hug.

"I really missed you Nate," she drawled as they broke apart and he saw the first genuine smile she'd worn since she'd returned cross her lips.

"I missed you too Sawyer," he replied warmly.

"You're a good guy Nate," she continued.

"Haley did a good job on me huh?" he joked making her laugh.

"Yeah she did," she played along but she was more serious then. "You've come a long way. You're turning into the guy I knew you could be."

"We change and become better for the people we love," Nathan said staring back down at his son's sleeping body huddled in the swaths of blankets. He knew from the benefit of experience that there was nothing he wouldn't do for his young family and he knew that Lucas would come around to the same conclusion. Or at least he hoped Lucas would.

--x--x--x--

Someone once told me that so many people die with their music and light still locked inside them. All too often that is because we are afraid. Afraid that if we take a risk or a chance we may be left rebuffed and disappointed. We are always getting ready to live our lives and take that gamble instead of simply just living them. We hold onto bitterness, to pain and regret. And then before we know it time runs out.....

Lucas stood on the basketball court staring down at the concrete. If the light hit the ground just right he could still see the signatures of the idealistic High School students shining through the hard ground. The captured mark of hope and intensity of the people he and his friends had been mere months before. He'd felt so alive back then; so certain of a future forged by love and the will to succeed.

He guessed he couldn't hold Peyton's reluctance to commit against her. Not really. Ever since he'd known her she had been the girl who'd lost her mother at such a tender young age. She'd been forced to grow up far too fast. And he'd always loved that she would let him in more than most other people in her life. He loved that she would let herself need him more than anyone else. But even though Peyton trusted him he knew from experience she would sometimes falter.

This is what she had done when they were just sixteen years old and he had wanted her to promise him forever. Her first instinct was always to retract back into her shell for fear of being left disappointed, hurt and alone. In retrospect, as much as it pained him to admit, he knew her reaction to his proposal was at least partly a panicked gut reaction from her.

"Hey," the sound of his best friend's voice stirred Lucas from his inner most thoughts and he lifted his head to see Haley James Scott approach him.

"Hey," he replied casually though his eyes roamed his surrounding as he attempted to find something to focus on. He knew all too well that if Haley had taken the trouble to venture from her son and follow him down to the court then she wanted a private talk. A private talk away from their home's disturbances and away from Peyton.

"So you want tell me about what's going on between you and Peyton?" Haley decided to approach the subject of the argument straight on as she knew Lucas would choose to avoid it for as long as he possibly could.

Lucas inhaled deeply. "Peyton's pregnant." he uttered the statement as he squinted against the low setting sun. They'd been best friends ever since they could remember. Haley had always been the voice of reason; the one he'd come to when he needed to make sense of things.

"Yeah we heard. Come on let's sit down," Haley said gently and she gestured to the bleachers and the expression on her face betrayed her friendly concern. He looked so lost and uncertain and her heart went out to him.

Lucas followed her over taking a seat beside the petite brunette and tried to avoid her burning gaze. He let out a long audible sigh and gave a slight shake of his head. In truth he didn't want to talk about it but considering the whirlwind of confusion the past weeks had brought he needed to.

"You know," Lucas began with the faint glimmer of a smile. "Ever since Peyton told me she's pregnant all I've done is picture our child. I know the baby's going to be beautiful."

Haley smiled at the sentiment. She knew how distraught Lucas had been ever since he and Peyton broke up. In spite of his pretence that he was doing fine she had seen how broken he was. She always tried to be a good source of support for him and she attempted to help him heal and move on. She knew however that her best friend's heart still yearned for Peyton and only their reconciliation would right him.

"So what do you want to do about Peyton and the baby?" Haley chanced asking the question.

"I don't know what to do anymore Hales. I really messed things up." He fixed his stare back down at the hard ground. He felt if he said anymore he would break down and slip into the pit of confusion he'd barely been bracing himself up from after he had returned from LA.

Haley reached out a comforting hand and placed it on his shoulder. "I know its hard Luke. But she's here now. You need to talk to her. You have a baby to think about." She knew all too well what it was like to be pregnant and uncertain of the future.

"I just don't know if it's really that simple," he said regretfully. He hated that he couldn't let go of the embittered anger he carried with him. "We're still the same two people we were in that hotel room when she said no. I want to move past it Hales. I do but I don't know any more if we can."

"No one said it was going to be easy. And ok, don't hate me for saying this but I kind of know where she was coming from Luke," Haley said then causing Lucas to raise his eyes and focus back onto her. "Remember when I went on tour and me and Nathan were apart?"

"Yeah I remember," Lucas replied.

"I needed to do it. I needed to go and chase my dream because it was part of who I am. But I hurt Nathan and it almost destroyed our marriage. All I am saying is no matter how great the shows were I also know none of it mattered without Nathan. And when I came back it wasn't easy. It took time to rebuild that trust between us. But we both worked really hard. None of it matters Luke if you're not with the one you love. None of it."

Lucas smiled. He remembered all too well how hard it had been for both his best friend and his brother but they had beaten the odds when everything was against them.

"You've loved her since we were kids," his closest friend went on to say. "I remember every single year you'd predict that you two would be together. It's a whole history and sometimes it's hard. But it doesn't mean it isn't worth fighting for."

Haley gave him a gentle pat on the knee before pulling herself back to her feet. "She's worth fighting for. And you know it."

--x--x--x- -

The world was so still. It was peaceful and subdued; the blanket of darkness had long since set in and covered over the day. It was well past midnight, calmness reigned and everything was resting. Everything that was except for Peyton. She was restless and couldn't sleep. Her mind couldn't shut off knowing Lucas was still not home.

She shifted onto her side as she stared out through the window into the night. Her eyes became fixed on the rain drops glistening on the glass. Her heavy eyelids stung with more tears that threatened to return. She drew the covers up over her shoulders as she felt a chill of doubt once again spread through her. She lay fitfully trying to decipher her tangled thoughts from the mass of hurt that consumed her. With every passing minute that he didn't come home she fell further into the fear that he would never come back to her. That she had made a mistake in coming back to Tree Hill and had only caused herself more hurt.

Peyton heard the click of the front door and the soft distinctive footsteps up the stairs and they began to echo towards her room. She craned her head in the direction of the door and it shifted open. Lucas's silhouette came into view.

"Hi," his voice was hoarse and unsure. "Can I come in?"

She nodded mutely pulling herself up into a seating position with a gentle rustle of the comforter.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," he told her. She watched as he approached slowly. His eyes never leaving her own and she felt a slight deep in the bed as he sat down.

"I wasn't asleep," she replied with a shake of her curls.

"Peyton, are you ok?" he asked worriedly. She looked so fragile; her eyes betrayed a vulnerability that lay brimming just below the surface.

"I can't....I don't want to do this without you. I need you. We need you," she confessed to him in quiet earnestly.

"Hey. You won't have to." Lucas took her hands into his own. "I promise."

"I just thought that you...," she struggled to speak at the choking build up of emotion. "I thought I'd lost you."

"You could never lose me. I still love you Peyt," he told her then; provoking a sound that could only be described as a half laugh half cry. "I never stopped loving you."

"Luke when you proposed I got scared," she looked down at their entwined fingers as she attempted to explain. "I got scared because it all seemed too soon but I do want us. I do want forever."

"It hurt when you said no Peyton. I wanted more than anything I've ever wanted in my life for you to have just said yes. But I was selfish," Lucas admitted out loud. He knew in order for them to move forward he needed to cleanse himself of all the hurt and pain. "I was selfish just coming to LA and springing everything on you the way I did. I don't regret asking you because I really wanted to marry you and I still do. But I shouldn't have walked away like I did." He paused momentarily as a lump formed in his throat.

"It just got so hard Peyt," Lucas declared as he stroked her knuckles with his thumb. "It was hard being here in Tree Hill with all the memories and the history it holds for us. It was hard being surrounded by everything that reminds me of you. It sounds crazy but it made it so much worse. It made me miss you more because everything made me think of you."

Peyton nodded sadly. She knew that feeling all too well. So many of her favourite songs were tied to treasured moments they'd shared together. Tracks that she had loved for years would instantly spark tears in her eyes and sometimes when she'd missed Lucas too much she wouldn't listen to their favourite songs in fear of crumbling. "I know," she muttered under her breath.

"And seeing Nathan playing college ball and getting his life back on track," Lucas went on to confess. He needed her to understand fully why he had proposed. "I'd see him with Haley as they struggled through this first year of college and it hasn't been easy for them. But they're happy because they're together. At the championship when we won and we were celebrating all I could think about was how I wanted you there. And yeah I want you with me more than anything. Nathan's trying to live his dreams whilst having a family." Both sets of eyes fell to her pregnant stomach at that moment; to the most sacred symbol of their love and unison. "I guess I wanted that too. And I got scared that I would lose it. But I don't want to lose it now either."

"Me either," Peyton tightened her grip on his hands.

"I still want you Peyt," he said moved his hand from hers and lifted her chin so her eyes met with his. "I want you and our baby. If you'll still have me?"

Peyton merely nodded as she felt her throat constricting despite the fact that those were the only words she had wanted to hear since she'd arrived back in their home town.

"Forgive me," Lucas requested sincerely as Peyton remained silent. Slowly he raised his hand and gently stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. Any doubt that may have lingered in her mind faded as he brought his lips to hers. His kiss was soft and unsure; fuelled by both promise and passion.

Peyton let him as her eyelids fluttered gently shut and she blinked back the tears. Kissing Lucas again invoked so many feelings within her. Being with him always made the rest of the world fall away and she felt safe once again. Being with him was innate and perfect.

"I'm so sorry," Lucas murmured through his own tears as they broke apart. He'd do anything to just make everything alright between them again.

"Just hold me," she requested in a faint whisper. "I just need for you to hold me and tell me everything's going to be alright."

She'd been so afraid of forgetting what it was like to be held by him. She relished how his body would so completely surround hers; to the point where she wasn't sure where she ended and he began. When she was in the arms of Lucas Scott she felt as though she had the strength of two people.

Love isn't always easy or simple. It isn't rational or logical. It just is. It can bring immense joy or immense pain. It is fallible to the tests of life. But it is worth fighting for. When it real and true it is always worth fighting for.

"I like being this close to you again. It feels good, safe. Like everything's going to be ok. We're going to be ok right?" she mumbled into his chest.

Lucas's mind pondered over the choices they made, sometimes ill advisably. His book, her music career, their baby. Sometimes none of it made sense to him. But right now as their bodies lay curled into one another and he felt the rhythm of her heart beat mingle with his own he felt a clarity that he had almost left forgotten.

"We're going to be ok," he whispered into the crown of her curls and let his hand touch her stomach for the first time since he'd discovered she was going to be the mother of his child.

**A/N – I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. Also if anyone does read "You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory" I will be posting an update sometime next week.**


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note – Thank you guys so much for reading this story and the reviews I received for the last chapter were amazing so thank you. This isn't the last chapter! When writing the chapter grew longer and longer and the two parts didn't really fit. So there's an epilogue to follow, though it's already written so there won't be a long wait.

Enjoy!

Where I Stood

Chapter 3 – On a Clear Night

Life can sometimes pass us by as a series of images, the flash of choices made and people we encounter. Some moments however burn in our minds; set apart as unique and treasured. Some experiences leave such an impression engraved on our hearts. These are the moments we can never forget as they fill our lives with meaning, purpose and wonderment. These are the moments that we will never forget.

Five months later....

Lucas's chest heaved as he took another deep breath in effort to try and calm his rising anxiety. His eyes scanned the ever thickening throngs of people who had gathered in New York's largest book store. The crowd of expectant faces queued between the stacks of books; they were there especially to see him. They were there to celebrate the launch of his book and shake hands with the young author. At that thought Lucas realised he was more nervous than he had been when he had first come to New York to meet with his editors and publicists.

This was a dream come true. Sometimes during the last few months he had found himself wondering if he would get here. Now he stood safely tucked away from the crowds; behind a table covered by a white linen cloth and piles of his own book surrounded him. It was a wonderful turnout. That is what his editor Lindsey Strauss told him as his readers made their way out from the cool clear night and into the store. He should be proud, he was proud; he had worked long and hard to make this happen. Yet for him there was one thing missing. The girl who'd inspired his book. His mind fluttered from the bustling activity inside the store and to his precious Peyton. Right on a fated cue his cell vibrated in the depths of his jacket's pocket.

"Hey baby girl. I was just thinking about you," Lucas answered with a broad smile on his face.

"Hey," Peyton drawled on the other end of the line. Her voice with its slightly southern twang swept over him and instantly calmed his frayed nerves. "Please tell me all of New York City is there to see you."

She was the biggest supporter of his book. She'd been behind him all the way as he fought over the book's content with his editors. She'd told him his writing was great, that he was great and he'd loved her even more for her unconditional belief in him. The past months had been fraught with self doubt for Lucas as he experienced what it was like to have his works under the microscope and Peyton had been the one to keep him sane.

"Yeah the turn out's good. Lindsey's really happy with it. There are some press and some publicists here and a huge crowd," he informed her.

"That's great Luke. I really wish I could be there," she said sweetly. She'd wanted so desperately to go on the tour with him but given that she was now heavily pregnant they had decided against it. She had been fairly small throughout the earlier months of the pregnancy. However once she made it into the seventh month the bump seemed to grow rapidly and she'd begun to suffer from all the effects of carrying the child.

"I wish you were here too baby," he told her with a smile on his lips. He missed her almost more than he could bear. They knew this was the beginning of his career as an author; an opportunity of a lifetime but it didn't make being apart any easier. Lucas had been reluctant to leave her with her now being in the last month of pregnancy. He'd only really agreed to go because he knew that Nathan and Haley would be with her. And of course he checked in with them regularly. Despite the fact that he knew his little brother was almost as protective over Peyton and his unborn child as Lucas himself; he still worried. He couldn't help but worry.

"You're ok though? You're both ok," he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Luke I'm fine," she brushed off his concerns quickly. She'd teased him constantly as his protective instincts towards her had strengthened throughout her pregnancy. "The baby's fine and kicking like a football player. My feet are swollen and my back hurts. But I'm fine." She didn't truly care about the obvious discomforts of being pregnant. His girl was strong and noble. She'd told him on many occasions that it would all be worth it when she held that precious life in her arms for the very first time.

"And the appointment today went well?"

"Yes everything's fine," she told him in firm assurance. However she loved that he cared so much; they'd come so far considering their relationship had been so shaky and tentative not that long ago.

"I really miss you Peyton," he told her then unable to keep those words from spilling from his lips.

"I miss you too. Now stop worrying and enjoy New York," she reprimanded him playfully.

"Ok," he answered. "I love you."

"I love you too," Peyton replied. "Bye."

Lucas hung up the phone and smiled as Lindsey approached. "You ready?" she asked.

His night passed by in a whirl of signing copy after copy of his book, meeting with people Lindsey introduced him to and smiling for the photographers. By the time the evening was coming to an end Lucas found himself feeling more energised than he had done since they'd won the state championship back in High School. Lindsey had offered to buy him a drink to celebrate and after he'd called Peyton to wish her good night the two took a cab back to the hotel.

"Tonight was amazing," Lucas said as he shrugged off his jacket and let himself collapse into one of the leather couches in the far corner of the hotel's swanky bar. The lights were low and dim and jazz music played softly in the background. "I still can't believe it." He still had such a jubilant feeling buzzing in the pit of his stomach.

"You were amazing tonight Luke. I'm so proud of you," Lindsey told him sincerely and it caused him grin even more broadly.

"Well you're the one who gave me the opportunity," he murmured in answer to the compliment.

Once the bartender had supplied them with drinks Lindsey turned on her seat to propose a toast. "I know this was your first book and it was also my first book to edit. And I had the best year doing it. So thank you."

They clinked their glasses together before Lucas took a swig of his drink and attempted to calm some of his burning elation away. He had an early start the next morning and at that precise moment he didn't think he'd be able to shut off to sleep.

"So how are things with Peyton and the baby?" Lindsey enquired after she set her drink back on the table. She liked Peyton; she'd liked her since the first time she had met the real Peyton and she put a face to the "Peyton" she'd read about in the book. And she had felt almost guilty for taking Lucas on the book tour and away from his girlfriend at such a delicate time.

"They're both doing well," Lucas said after taking another sip of his drink. "I mean Peyton's having trouble now she's at the end of the pregnancy what with being comfortable and getting up from chairs on her own. I kind of think she just wants the pregnancy over with now. But she doing good and so is the baby."

"That's great Luke," Lindsey told him earnestly. "So are you excited about being a father?"

"Yeah I am," he answered with a large grin playing at his mouth. "Sometimes it all doesn't seem real to me."

He and Lindsey had grown to be very close friends since he'd spent long hours away from Peyton and with her instead. In the early days when he and Peyton had first got back together Lucas had felt insecure that everything would fall apart despite their best intentions. Peyton had given up her job in L.A and moved back to Tree Hill as she'd just wanted them to be back together. Lucas hadn't tried to stop her as he just wanted them back together too, for all the hurt to melt away and for it to be just him, her and the baby. But he still worried that they wanted different things and that might create a divide between them once the baby was born. Lindsey had become a great person to confide these pangs of doubt to as she was more impartial than his close friends.

"Are you still worried you two made the right decision in Peyton moving to Tree Hill?" Lindsey enquired latching on to his train of thought.

"Yeah. I just can't help it. I love Peyton," Lucas declared though there was never any doubt in either of their minds that he did. Lindsey had spent a year editing a book that was a love letter to Peyton Sawyer; a love story that was now available for the whole world to be a part of. "I just...she sacrificed everything for us to be together. I just worry she's going to wake up one day and regret it."

"Walking away from her career?" the brunette asked then.

"Yeah. She's done everything to help me get my dream come true and I want her to have her own."

Lindsey stirred the ice cubes around in her drink pondering for a brief moment. "Well why doesn't Peyton start her own label after the baby's born and things have settled down?" Lindsey suggested then. "I mean you're always saying she's passionate enough to do it; that she has a head for business."

"Yeah she does. I mean she could." Back when Peyton had be working in the mail room Lucas had known without a shadow of a doubt that she was capable of so much more; that her talents were wasted on the company.

Lindsey placed a hand on his own. "Life's too short Lucas and if you think Peyton can do it then why not try and help her do it on her own. I mean you think she'd be good at it right?"

"I think she'd be great at it," Lucas confirmed with a nod.

"Then help her," the woman's blue eyes meet with his own. "You know the one thing I've learnt from knowing you and working with you is that it's important not to give up on your dreams."

--x--x--x--

At just after two a.m. in the morning Nathan laid Jamie back down to sleep in his nursery and then crept quietly along the corridor and downstairs for a glass of water. He padded onto the tiled kitchen floor and flicked on the lights.

"Hey Sawyer," Nathan said with a slight hint of surprise as he found Peyton sitting alone in the dark. "Is everything ok?" He promised to take care of Peyton in Lucas's absence. He knew that for the past few weeks it had become increasingly hard for her to settle down for the entire night; but a she drew closer and closer to the end of her pregnancy both he and Haley had become extra vigilant.

"Yeah, I'm fine," the blonde said with a weary smile. She shrugged her shoulders beneath one of Lucas's old sweatshirts. They used to drown her slender frame but now the fabric stretched tightly at her stomach. "I just couldn't sleep."

Peyton was exhausted, in desperate need of a night of uninterrupted sleep but no matter how many pillows she used to prop up her back she couldn't get comfortable enough to achieve it. She rubbed a hand over her swollen belly. "He's kicking up a storm."

Nathan smiled gently and placed a hand on her stomach to feel the life of his soon to be little niece or nephew. "So you still think it's going to be a boy?"

"Yeap," she replied with certainty. She and Lucas had chosen not to find out the baby's sex until the birth but she had managed to convince herself and most people around her that she was carrying a boy. "Scott's have boys. And I read on-line that if you are carrying a boy you burn off extra calories and I'm always hungry."

Nathan couldn't help but smirk at her reasoning. From what he could recall she'd always had quite the appetite. "You hungry now?"

"I could eat," she told him in jest.

With a nod Nathan turned and walked over to the fridge returning with a carton of strawberry ice cream, two bowls, spoons and coco-pebbles. Back when they had been dating and not fighting she'd told him it was her favourite midnight snack when she was growing up. She smiled at her best guy friend as he pulled out the chair beside her with a scrap on the floor.

"So Lucas's book tour went well tonight?" Nathan enquired as he took a mouthful of the icy treat.

"Yeah," Peyton said with a broad and proud grin. "He said he had a great turn out. There were loads of people there and the press."

"That's really awesome."

"Yeah, I just checked in about an hour ago and Luke said it went great. He's gone out with Lindsey to celebrate."

Nathan smiled feeling the waves of excitement as he watched as his older brother's dream became more real and more fulfilled. He soon saw the look of apprehension the blonde wore as she idly pushed the half melted ice cream and chocolate swirls around in the bowl.

"Ok Sawyer," he joked all knowingly. "Spill."

"It's nothing...." she murmured weakly. She avoided Nathan's deep brown eyes knowing she couldn't fool him and knowing that the slight pangs of envy she felt towards Lindsey were strikingly evident.

Peyton had felt threatened by the beautiful young editor when she had first met her. Lindsey had worked so closely with Lucas as they analysed the very essence of both Lucas's passion and his young life. Peyton knew it was foolish to be jealous, she hated that she was uncertain and jealous. She'd never been jealous and insecure with anyone else she'd ever dated but then Lucas was so different to her other boyfriends.

"Peyton," Nathan uttered with conviction. "My brother adores you. Trust me you have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"You think I'm being silly and pregnant and jealous?" She wouldn't have blamed him if he did. Ever since Lucas had begun to work the later evenings with Lindsey she'd tried desperately to blame all her insecurities on her pregnancy hormones. After all she'd cry at any sad song or tragic ending to a movie so it wasn't a far reach that her hormones would also bear impact on her judgement too.

"No, not at all," Nathan reached out to cup his hand lightly over her own. "When Haley was working with Chris on her music I got jealous. I got jealous because Chris brought out a side of Haley that I didn't."

"You're not really helping Nate," Peyton muttered despondently and stared down at the hard wooden table. Given that Chris and Haley's musical relationship had almost destroyed their young teenage marriage Peyton didn't really understand where Nathan was going with his train of thought.

"What I mean is," Nathan explained. "You have nothing to worry about because you bring out the art inside of Lucas. The book's all about you, Peyton and how much Lucas loves you. He's completely in love with you. And he's so excited to become a father."

Peyton bit her lip as she felt the telltale sign of tears and inwardly cursed her pregnancy hormones for making her such a girl. "Thanks Nathan. I just really really miss him."

"Come here," he said enveloping her into a brotherly hug. Peyton buried her face in his shirt and Nathan stroked her shoulder.

The blonde soon broke from him with a brave smile on her lips. "So anyways," she said with her eyes glittering with a new found sense of excitement. "Luke and I have been talking and we want you and Haley to be the baby's god parents..."

Nathan's face broke with a large grin. "I'd love to Sawyer. I'd be honoured." He had every intention of being the best uncle to his niece or nephew as Lucas had always been to Jamie. And he planned on spoiling the latest Scott rotten.

"Good," Peyton said decisively.

"Well I guess we should try to get some sleep," Nathan said stifling a yawn.

"Yeah," Peyton nodded in agreement. Her eyes were heavy and her swollen body ached for sleep. "I guess we should."

Dutifully Nathan reached to help Peyton up from her chair. She grunted at the obvious discomfort as she shifted the weight back to her legs but stopped abruptly as she stood upright. Nathan instantly recognised that look of joyous surprise mixed with a slight hint of fear at what was to come. Haley had worn that same look when she had first gone into labour.

"Nate," she whispered as her grip tightened on his arm. "My waters just broke. I'm having the baby."

--x--x--x--

Lucas raced through customs as the plane finally touched down in North Carolina. Only a couple of short hours ago he'd still been sitting with Lindsey celebrating his success. He hadn't expected the words that came from Haley's lips as she'd called way past midnight to say Peyton was on the way to the hospital; that she was in labour. He was a mess of excitement and disbelief as Lindsey had rushed him to the airport so he could board the next plane out.

Once he'd left the airport he jumped into the first available cab and told the driver to step on the accelerator. The cab driver must have broken every speed limit as Lucas's knee jiggled and he announced that he was having a baby. He felt such a great sense of pride. The night had been a whirlwind of success and surprises and he didn't think he'd ever felt more alive.

Haley was the first person he saw as he made it up to the maternity ward and she moved to embrace him.

"Where is she? Am I too late?" he asked through heavy short breaths after having rushed from the elevator and down into the hall. As if on cue he heard the cries of pained exhaustion that came from Peyton's room and he couldn't help but wince at what his girlfriend must be going through.

"No you're right on time," his best friend informed him with a pat on his shoulder. "Nathan's in with her. Your mom and Peyton's dad went down to the cafeteria with Jamie. And Brooke's still on her way."

Lucas nodded and made his way into Peyton's room. He found her sitting on the hospital bed with one hand draped over her large stomach and the other gripping desperately onto the hand of his own brother. She tried to breathe through the waves of agony the latest contraction caused. Nathan sat on the mattress beside her rubbed circles at her lower back. Peyton's face was flushed and her curls a tangled mess but she had never looked more beautiful. His girlfriend's eyes made straight for the door and her face broke into a wide grateful smile as soon as she saw him.

"Luke," his name tickled past her lips. She had never been happier to see him. "You're here." She tried not to cry; as great as Nathan had been all she wanted was Lucas at her side. She'd tried desperately not to think that Lucas wouldn't get there in time. Lucas made his way to her gathering her into his arms like he had wanted to do all night; even before he had learnt that she'd gone into labour. She buried her face in his chest after he'd kissed her warmly in welcome.

"Hey you think I'd miss this?" he cradled her face in his hand as his eyes locked with her own.

"I'm so glad you're here," she muttered as tears glittered in her eyes.

"Me too sweetheart."

"I think the baby's coming," she said breathlessly as stabs of pain shot through her once again. She'd been hoping and praying before Lucas had arrived that she wouldn't give birth just yet. Now however as the hurt intensified and she wasn't preoccupied with wanting her boyfriend she just wanted it all over.

"I'll go find a doctor," Nathan told them.

Lucas threw at look of appreciated thanks to his younger brother as he pulled himself up from the bed so Lucas could take over. Lucas assumed the position Nathan had taken at her side, taking her hand securely in his own.

The labour was longer than either had hoped it would be. Lucas sat beside her and the time seemed to fall away into an endless cycle. Peyton wasn't quiet as her contractions became increasingly more frequent and more painful. Lucas tried not to flinch as she cried out. He'd always hated to see her in pain; he'd always been the one able to ease and heal her pain and now he felt helpless. He knew from talking with Haley and the doctors that by him being there and whispering words of encouragement and holding her hand he was doing everything he could for her. He just wished he could do more.

"This is it Peyton," the doctor said finally after far too many hours. "Just one more push. You can do it."

"I can't," she whimpered hopelessly. She was beyond tired at this point. The length of child birth and the pain had taken its toll on her. "I can't. It hurts."

"You can baby," Lucas told her in encouragement. He stroked her clammy forehead and she continued to grasp onto his other hand with one heck of a grip for a woman clearly past exhaustion. "You're doing so good."

Peyton sobbed despondently just wanting the pain to stop. "It hurts."

"I know it does Peyt," he whispered softly as he locked his blue eyes with her emerald greens. "I know it does. But one more push and we can meet our beautiful little baby."

Peyton took a deep breath, closing her eye lids firmly together and gripped even tighter onto Lucas's hand. She pushed as hard as she could and was finally rewarded by the very first enchanting wails of their new born baby.

"Congratulations. You have a brand new baby girl," the woman doctor announced.

"You did it Peyt. We have a daughter," Lucas exclaimed as he watched the tiny wrinkled person screamed her first breaths in the outside world.

"A girl," Peyton whispered in mild amusement and surprise. She'd convinced herself and all those around her that she was having a boy. She let her head rest momentarily against Lucas's firm chest. Her body ached in new agonising ways and she felt exhaustion overtake her. Yet her mind raced with new and heightened emotions.

Lucas kissed her forehead in that loving and protective way he always did.

Peyton straightened up in the creased white sheets finding a new strength and energy within her as her tiny daughter was placed into her arms for the first time. She felt utterly awestruck as she took in the small bundle. Her eyes traced over the new born's profile and Peyton took in all the likenesses of both herself and Lucas. Everything and nothing made sense to her in those jumbled seconds as she cradled her baby.

"Hi baby," she murmured softly as she was met for the very first time with the greyish blue orbs of her little girl. All the pain and confusion she had felt throughout her life melted away as insignificant as she felt an overwhelming sense of peace, purpose, wonderment and adoration.

Lucas found his breaths caught up in his throat as he watched the mother and daughter together. He felt such a pride in the knowledge that this was his very own family. This was his very own mark on the world. Tears stung at his eyes and he didn't care. He held onto his baby's minute curled fingers; looking at the delicate golden lashes. She had Peyton's little button nose and lips and his eyes.

"She's so beautiful," Peyton said as she remained mesmerised by the new life's perfectly delicate features. Words couldn't truly convey what she was thinking and feeling at that moment. Surges of unconditional and innate love danced through her. "I love her Lucas. She's..."

"She's more than you ever imagined," Lucas finished for her.

"Yeah. Do you want to hold her?" Peyton added then as an almost guilty afterthought. She didn't think she'd ever want to let her daughter go.

"Yeah," Lucas cradled the infant in his arms and tried to hold it together as the fragile and perfect life overwhelmed him. "So what do you want to call her?"

"Anna," Peyton said quietly after a few moments thought.

Lucas smiled, "Anna. After your mom. I think that's perfect Peyton."

"It's a girl. A beautiful healthy baby girl," Lucas announced a short while later as he walked back into the waiting room to all the expectant faces. Haley and his mom both rose up immediately to encircle him in a hug and whisper their congratulations. "She's beautiful, loud and 5 lbs 7oz."

"Congratulations bro," Nathan said as both brothers abandoned any attempt at masculinity and embraced before Larry shook his hand. Larry had known since the first time he'd met the blonde teenager who stood in his kitchen with a rake in hand that he was the one who'd make his daughter truly happy.

Brooke, whose plane had finally touched down in the last hour of Peyton's labour, moved to hug him next after handing her god son Jamie back to Haley. "How is she?" she enquired about her best friend. "Can we see her?"

"She's good. She did amazing; better than me," Lucas told the brunette. "She's really tired but she wanted to see everyone first."

The group followed Lucas back into the private room where Peyton lay with the infant cradled closely against her chest. Lucas took his place back on the bed at her side draping his arm around her shoulder as everyone smiled and whispered their congratulations and cooing over how cute mother and daughter looked together.

"So what are you guys going to call her?" Brooke asked eagerly.

"Anna," Peyton said locking eyes with her father.

Peyton couldn't remember the last time her father had cried; not since they'd both said their final goodbyes at her mother's funeral anyway. But now as Larry looked down at his tiny granddaughter in Peyton's arms she saw the faint lines of tears as they slid down his cheeks. "Your mom would be so proud," he told her his voice hoarse from emotion.

"Anna Brooke Scott," the new mother said turning her attentions to her fashion designer best friend.

"Thank you," Brooke managed to get out as the tears thickened in her throat and Haley hugged her.

"She's so cute," Haley said then. "My little god daughter."

"Don't go getting any ideas," Nathan joked lightly holding their own quiet little boy.

"We should let you get some rest," Karen said gently to Peyton after holding her tiny granddaughter in her arms. Peyton nodded gratefully as the dark haired woman handed Anna back to her.

"I don't want to wake up," Peyton whispered when it was finally just the three of them left in the room and Lucas regarded her curiously. "From this dream; I don't ever want to wake up."

"You'll never have to," Lucas told her pressing a kiss in the crown of her tousled mess of hair and holding onto his baby's outstretched minuscule fist. He knew he was going to love his two precious girls for the rest of his life. Their shared secret moment forged a bond that he just knew would stand the tests of time.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note – Hey guys sorry about the long wait!! It wasn't intentional. I started a new part time job this month and all my time just disappeared.

I also want to say a special thank you to my sister Sarah. We got together and co wrote the lullaby, "My Wish Is True" which is featured in the chapter.

Here it is, the conclusion. Thanks so much to everyone for reading and all. Enjoy!

Where I Stood

Chapter 4 – The Way We Are

Peyton sat in the rocking chair with baby Anna cradled delicately in her embrace. The sun's young rays filtered through the pink nursery as a new day had barely begun, marking three months since Anna was born. The time passing had just flown by as both Peyton and Lucas slowly adjusted to life as parents.

Her eyes trailed over her daughter's sweet profile; Anna lay sleeping contently as the light morning's breeze played at Peyton's dishevelled curls. Throughout the previous night Anna had kept Lucas and Peyton up with intermittent bursts of crying and Peyton had been exhausted and had truly felt the toll of a new baby. Now however as she watched over the perfect bundle she held in her arms she couldn't think of anything more perfect or soothing.

At times Peyton felt so out of her depth as a new mother; she was so scared of doing something wrong. She found herself questioning each and every action she took and every decision she made; as if she couldn't do anything right. But other times taking care of Anna was just so innate and she felt so ready for this whole new chapter of life as a mother.

Karen and Haley had both been great with all of their tips and words of wisdom. Both had assured Peyton that she was doing fine; in fact she was a natural and was doing better than fine even if it was a fact she found difficult to believe. They both would tell her repeatedly it was to be expected for to feel that way, and strangely enough it was that fact that made her such a great mother.

Peyton let her head rest against the back of her chair; she felt a wave of contentment flow through her. With Anna's tiny frame resting against her and her delicate eye lids pressed gently shut Peyton felt all her confusion and doubt over her new role disappear. Her own lids were so heavy and she could so easily have given in to sleep then and there.

"Good morning ladies," Brooke Davis called as she breezed through into Anna's new nursery and Peyton snapped back into full consciousness. Brooke sashayed confidently across the room despite the large number of bags full of gifts she was carrying. She deposited them onto the table and whipped around with a broad smile on her face as she smoothed out her sleek chestnut hair.

"Morning," Peyton said through a hushed smile as she indicated to a still silent Anna nestled in her arms.

Brooke smiled warmly taking in the tender scene. "Sorry," she whispered back.

"More gifts?" Peyton enquired jokingly. True to form Brooke had taken to lavishing the little girl with gifts even before Peyton had been discharged from the hospital.

"I just couldn't resist," Brooke smirked as she pulled a little pink one-set with the flaming heart design that had very first been the inspiration for "Clothes over Bro's" from one of her bags. She added proudly. "And besides your gorgeous little Anna inspired me to start a fabulous baby line for the company. These are just some of my ideas."

"Wow," Peyton said running her fingertips over the soft fabric as she inspected the designs more closely, "they're really great Brooke."

"Thank you. Oh and I got her this," Brooke brandished the purple monkey and a large grin appeared on both of the girls' faces. Brooke had owned a very similar stuffed monkey; one with only one eye that she had loved and carried everywhere with her when she was little.

"Brooke you didn't have to..." Peyton began as her little Anna started to stir. Anna's pale blue eyes fixed immediately on the stuffed animal Brooke was holding and she reached out with a gurgle; her tiny fingers curling tightly around the monkey's arm.

"Aw look she loves the monkey," Brooke gushed before requesting excitedly. "Can I hold her?"

Peyton nodded and gently shifted her daughter from her own hold and into Brooke's.

"Hello precious girl. Oh look at her. She's so cute," Brooke giggled before lifting up the little girl and holding her close. She traced her eyes slowly over the tiny girl's profile. "She's so got Luke's eyes."

"Yeah she does," Peyton ran her fingers over Anna's soft cheek. She was all Peyton from her sweet delicate features to her stubborn and wily temperament; everyone had said so. But her eyes were those of her father.

"Those big broody and soulful eyes," Brooke drawled silkily, rocking the little girl against her chest and giving the blonde a knowing sideways glance. "She's going to be all broody just like her mommy and her daddy."

Peyton giggled at her friend's teasing. "Yeah," Peyton captured her daughter's tiny little hand between her finger and thumb. "She's my little miracle Brooke."

"Yeah. She sure is that," Brooke agreed. "Being a mom really suits you," Brooke said that in all honesty, as truthfully she had never seen her friend look so happy and smile so widely. She and Peyton had weathered good and bad times together; she'd seen Peyton both happy and sad in equal measures. However this was different; being a mother had changed Peyton in so many ways even it was only subtly.

"Yeah?" the blonde ran a hand through her tangled hair and frowned slightly. "Sometimes I feel like I have no idea how I make it from one day to the next; you know when I'm tired and Luke's tired and she is never tired. And other days she just makes it so easy like today and just sleeps and is perfect."

"Children do that. And trust me you're doing amazing, P Scott," Brooke uttered and watched as Peyton's emerald eyes clouded at the brunette's slip of the tongue. Brooke knew Peyton desperately wanted to be the next Mrs Scott and Brooke knew all too well that Lucas wanted the exact same thing. However the next logic step of marriage seemed to be the one thing the brunette's two friends seemed to be tentative to acknowledge and discuss. She figured they of course would in time; Brooke believed firmly that the people that were meant to be would always find their way back together and achieve their dreams.

"But you don't regret it?" Brooke enquired then. "Moving from L.A to be with Lucas and Anna?"

Peyton shook her head. She missed the dazzling pursuit of the dream of career in music and the exhilaration wanting to discover brand new artists. "I was so lost in L.A without Luke. And I want my dreams. _Someday. _But I'm really happy and I wouldn't change this feeling. Not for the world."

"There's more to life than money and success that's for sure," Brooke stated truthfully.

Peyton turned to regard her oldest friend. Brooke had thrown herself into her now flourishing clothing company and had gone into business with her mother. She'd become a huge success in just a couple of short years after High School but had confided in Peyton that her glitzy lifestyle left her little time for herself. And even less time for a relationship, which saddened her a little.

"I see how happy you are with Lucas and Anna," Brooke admitted then. "And then I see Haley with Nathan and Jamie. I love my job and my company is doing so well but....then I go back to my apartment in New York and it's just me. Me alone without the success and celebrity and without the family.....I don't know," the brunette's eyes fell to regard Anna as she gurgled quietly. "I want a family Peyton. I want to be part of a family."

Peyton smiled gently and placed a hand of comfort on Brooke shoulders. "You'll always be part of the family Brooke," she reminded her. "I love you. We all love you."

"Thank you Peyton."

Both girls had grown up without a stable family unit and both could identify how hard and lonely that could be. "You'll always have me," Peyton assured her friend further. "No matter what."

"So anyway, and speaking of love", the brunette turned a delicate shade of pink and uttered. "You should go change into something fabulous and go spend some time away with your boy. That is after all the main reason I'm here this early in the morning and not tucked up in bed where I should be."

Peyton tried to push out the thoughts of reluctance that flowed through her at Brooke's instructions. Brooke had agreed to take Anna for the day the week before so Peyton could enjoy some much needed couple time with Lucas. Peyton had been so eager at the offer as for the past months both she and Lucas had been solely focused on their daughter, but now found it hard to let go.

"I don't know......" Peyton's voice trailed off. She was on heightened alert even if Anna was simply in a different room from her let alone in a different part of town. "I don't know if I can leave her and relax for the afternoon."

"Peyton," Brooke said gently and reassuringly. "Anna's going to be absolutely fine with me. And I'll be on the cell as long as you don't call every five minutes. Go have some fun. You and Lucas deserve a break."

Peyton nodded in agreement. As reluctant as she was to leave Anna for the first time and as exhausted as she might be she knew that she and Lucas had very few opportunities to just be alone together. "Ok," she conceded. "But what am I going to wear?" she added as an afterthought. This was the first "real" date they had been on since Anna had been in their lives. Laundry, other than baby clothes, had not been a priority for her and she began to doubt if anything was clean let along suitable.

"All ready covered," Brooke's manicured hand pointed to the bags she had brought with her, to one bag slightly less brightly coloured and more sophisticated looking.

--x--x--x--

"You look amazing," Lucas told her as he navigated the mustang along Tree Hill's winding roads later that morning. His eyes continued to stray to his girlfriend's pretty pink dress as she sat in the passenger's seat.

Peyton felt a blush colour her face as she smoothed a hand over her newly washed and styled curls and mentally thanked her best friend.

"Here we are", Lucas announced and stopped the car outside Tric. Peyton turned to regard him quizzically. A trip to the club where she used to work wasn't exactly how she had planned on spending their first afternoon together away from Anna, especially at this time of day.

"Luke?" Peyton turned to face him with a look of furrowed curiosity. "What's going on?"

Lucas didn't utter another word and simply moved swiftly out of the driver's seat and opened her door. He held out a hand to help her up; he was still ravishing her with special attention and treating her like she was delicate. She hated to admit it being the independent girl she had always been but at the same time she relished the attention he'd been bestowing upon her since the arrival of their daughter.

"Come with me," he encouraged and she took his hand with a slight grin. She let him lead her into the club that was almost deserted aside from the local band that was performing a sound check.

"Luke you know I don't like surprises," she reminded him. The band's base thrummed in the background and Peyton couldn't help but smile as she saw the potential in the undiscovered talent on stage.

"You'll like this one. I promise." He guided her up the stairs and pulled aside the heavy sliding doors to unveil the large unoccupied space his mother had always intended as using as office space but had never got around to doing it.

"Ok?" Peyton placed her hands on her hips and Lucas moved to the centre of the room. He looked both excited and proud of himself. "What's going on Luke?"

"I talked to my mom and to Brooke and we decided that this would be a great space for an office. _Your office_," he finished.

"Except I don't need an office," she informed him.

"You would if you set up your own record label here in Tree Hill," he stated in a leading way.

"Luke..." she felt a surge of panicked uncertainty and she wasn't even sure why.

"You could do that Peyt," he caught her hands up in his own firm yet gentle grip. "I know you can. And so do you."

Peyton's mind whirled rapidly. The idea sounded so very perfect when he spoke but she couldn't help but think of all the practicalities involved. Building a new company would take work and she'd just had a baby and now with Lucas back from the book tour she wanted to spend every minute with him. Not to mention she was hesitant to the whole venture not working out, feeling the disappointment and her temples tingled with the threat of a headache at the thought.

"Luke...I love the idea," she began shakily. "I do. And I love that you'd do all of this for me. But we have Anna and I don't even know if I can do this."

"I know that you can," he confirmed for her with a strong and unshakable belief. "You're destined for greatness, Peyton Sawyer."

She moved into him then and threaded her arms around his neck. "You know I love you right? And I'm going to be in love with you no matter what I do."

"I just want you to be happy Peyt," he reasoned as his arms encircled themselves around her waist tightly.

"I am happy. I'm really happy," she told him sincerely. She had a baby that she'd loved and cherished more than anything from the first moment she'd laid eyes on her. She had a boyfriend that she could actually understood her, someone who even now managed to make her heart race and ache in all the best possible ways. Peyton Sawyer was happy and there was no denying it. She was happier than she thought to be possible.

Lucas stroked back her stray curls and let his gaze trace over her expression. Despite the fact that both of them were exhausted from three months of sleepless nights Peyton still glowed. He didn't think he'd ever seen her look so completely happy. He realised then how much he loved that look about her and the fact it was there because of their new little family. He wanted to keep it that way forever now.

"I know you are Peyt. It's just that...." he voice trailed off as he was reminded of all the shadows of doubt that had haunted him when he was on his tour.

"It's just what?" She lifted her face to gaze at his own.

He avoided eye contact with her. Ever since they had got back together and she'd moved back home all he could think about was the fact one day she may wish she had done things differently. She'd sacrificed her career to be with him and have the baby. Now that Anna was born he felt that she still needed to chase her dreams. Even if it was on a different path; a better path.

"It's just that I want you to have your dreams; all of them. You can do this Peyton. I talked to Brooke and she's more than happy to invest in you. I know Haley wants to make another record and she'd love to work with you." He knew everyone around her believed in her; now it was time to make her believe in herself.

Peyton smiled, "is there anyone who isn't in on this? This little plan of yours?" She loved him for believing in her, for wanting to help her. And from past experience; when he'd taken her own artwork to Thud Magazine she knew he was quite happy to give her the first push when she was reluctant to take that risk to put herself out there.

"Just think about it ok," he let his fingers graze over her knuckles. "When Lindsey and I were in New York the one thing she told me was that it's important not to give up hope that you can achieve everything you want."

"I'll think about it," she told him before rising up on her toes to kiss him.

--x--x--x--

Late that night Lucas finally finished preparing Anna's bottles for the next day and stifled a yawn as parenthood once again raised up to show its mark of exhaustion. He'd volunteered to do the tasks for the following day knowing how tired Peyton became during the late hours of the evening. He mentally checked off all the tasks that had needed to be done before rubbing a hand against his tired eyes. Satisfied that nothing had been forgotten he flicked off the kitchen lights and crept upstairs along the darkened corridors.

He manoeuvred silently along the darkened hall way as he made for their bedroom, guessing Peyton would be lost to sleep by now. However as he came to Anna's nursery he heard Peyton's soft hushed voice as she sung a lullaby. He stood for a moment, resting his frame in the entrance and watched Peyton's darkened silhouette against the gold of the night light;

"Make a wish  
And hold it tight  
Wish upon  
A star so bright

A story of old  
A love to hold  
My prince became  
My wish come true

Make a wish  
And hold it tight  
Wish upon  
The snow so white

A love to mend  
My once sad heart  
His blue eyes shone  
Promised we'd never part

A story of old  
A love to hold  
My prince became  
My wish come true

Tears from a dream  
A wish come true  
It brought me him  
It brought me you

My prince he came  
By water we stood  
Where we locked eyes  
He caught my heart

A story of old  
A love to hold  
My prince became  
My wish come true…"

"Peyt," Lucas said in a quiet whisper and he eventually entered the nursery. It was enough to stir her and Peyton turned to face him and smiled almost guiltily.

"I thought you were sleeping," Lucas said coming up behind her and encircling his arms around her slim waist. The pregnancy weight had almost all but disappeared by now and his hand brushed against the silk of her nightgown and rested on her flat stomach.

"I know but I love to watch her. I miss having her in the room with us.........." Both knew how overly protective Peyton was toward Anna. It had been difficult for the mother of his child to adjust to not sleeping in the same room as her daughter. Lucas teased her as she would throw off the comforter in the middle of the night and would be instantly ready for protective action when Anna so much as gurgled or coughed. But as much he as he might tease her he knew that she was she everything he could ask for in the mother of his new baby girl. And he adored how attentive she was to their child.

"My mom used to sing to me," Peyton betrayed the painful hurt that still swelled at her soul despite the years that had passed. "It's one of the earliest memories I have of her."

Lucas gave a small smile as Peyton's green eyes clouded in hidden sadness. She'd told him during the pregnancy that she was determined for Anna to have the stable childhood that both of them had lacked themselves. He pressed a kiss to her temple. "You're amazing you know that."

"You're not so bad yourself Lucas Scott," she let her body rest against his own. They stood for a moment in a soothing silence watching over the infant lying in the crib.

"So," Peyton said turning to face him again. "I've been thinking about your offer earlier. And I want to take it."

"That's great Peyton," he couldn't stop the grinning that readily traced across his mouth as she accepted the offer.

"I mean it'll be hard," Peyton went on to say. "I mean what with setting up a new company, your writing career and Anna."

"Peyt..."he murmured.

"And you have college and coaching the team," she reminded him. She'd seen how hard Nathan and Haley worked to juggle bringing up Jamie with college and basketball. She truly wanted to believe that they could do the same, even if it was with just a fraction of their friends' success.

Lucas pressed his index finger lightly to her lips to stop her nagging train of doubts, "we can make it work Peyt. I know we can."

Peyton smiled at his certainty. She didn't know how he could be so unquestionably sure at the fact. But then they balanced each other out; her with her various and building concerns, and his belief they could do this.

"Come on. We should try and get some sleep," Lucas said knowing Peyton should have been in bed hours ago and they should really be taking advantage of the fact that their daughter was still dreaming contently.

"Yeah I guess so," her weary body cried out for a good night's rest. She bent over the rails of Anna's crib to check that she was alright and adjusted the covers so they stopped at her daughter's tightly clenched fists. "Good night Anna," she whispered brushing a hand over the child's tufts of blonde hair.

"Night little girl," Lucas murmured to the peaceful form wrapped under the swaths of pink blanket. He picked up the baby monitor before following Peyton to their bedroom. She slipped the dressing gown down off shoulders and looked back nervously. She was still a little self conscious over her body since she'd given birth. She had no reason to be; she slipped beneath the satin bedspread and Lucas felt the same swells of love and desire that he had always held for her.

Lucas quickly shrugged off his jeans and shirt and pulled on a t-shirt and sweats before climbing into bed alongside Peyton. He pulled her close to him and she rested her head against his chest. She snuggled in close to the warmth of his body whispering "I love you," like she did every night since they had got back together.

"I love you too Peyt," he whispered into her tousled curls. They settled beneath the covers but despite being over tired from looking after their daughter both stared quietly into the blanketed darkness of the room.

"Just so you know," Lucas said as lightly and casually as he could but felt his nerves rise as he chanced the words that had burned at his heart and at his lips for the past year. He confided in Brooke, Haley and Nathan about how he wanted to ask her but still felt reluctant to do so. However now laying in the darkness he finally found the confidence to risk his heart again. "Someday soon I plan on asking you to be my wife."

Peyton snuggled in closer to his embrace. There had been so many nights when she'd not been able to sleep and she'd wished to hear those words again. To be able to hear them from him and to have the chance to say yes. "Well just so you know this time I'm planning on saying yes."

Lucas tightened his hold around her before he gave into his exhaustion; while Peyton allowed herself to drift often in the knowledge that someday was a real possibility. That someday was a certainty.

We make our mark upon the world; whether it is through the success of our talent and career or whether it is through the life we create and the children we influence.

_-Fin-_


End file.
